So I had yet ANOTHER dream about my teeth falling out (second or third one in the past week or so). This time, every time I looked in the mirror, I had more holes in my teeth and I was really upset because I didn't know how to stop the holes/cavities from forming. Eventually, they all started falling out. Bekah looked it up in this "Dream Encyclopedia" we have and it said :
"Losing the teeth may reflect a loss of power as well as a loss of one's grasp of life circumstances."
Hmmm....how true this is! I have been feeling SO overwhelmed and out of control lately. Just trying to keep up with life is a chore and I've been forgetting little things here and there despite the fact that I am pretty well organized. Work has been really keeping me on my toes and I never feel like I have enough hours in the day to get everything done. I HATE that feeling of things left undone. I do believe I have some issues with anxiety, so it really gets to me when I feel like things are up in the air. I like having a set routine and some predictability in my life. In addition to work stuff, still getting used to David's new schedule at work and lots of worries in helping Bekah get her Exchange application completed, as well as what all is to happen with that. While I am excited for her, I still have alot of reservations about the whole thing and her ability to be self-sufficient and independent enough to be away from home for a whole year.
I really wish I could just have ONE day of not having to fret or worry- one day all to myself to just relax, read a book, cuddle up. It will never happen because even if I did have that day, I would spend it making sure that the house is clean, the laundry is done, the bills are paid, and any number of other tasks that always seem to pop up and need taken care of. For some reason, I can't relax unless I feel I've accomplished something. When I come home from work, I take care of business- cook dinner, take Taya to ballet/gymnastics, go through backpack, pack lunches, set out clothes for the next day, take care of the dog, straighten/clean up, get Taya's bath, bedtime routine/snack, shower, etc. I don't/can't allow myself to just sit and rest until all is done. Then and only then do I sit down to catch up on FB/blog/read. I didn't used to be that way...maybe it comes from being a single mom all those years and having to make sure I was on top of things...
Am I abnormal or are other people like this too?
Oh well...onto today's journal...doing pretty good this week (despite Sunday). WEIGH IN tomorrow! Here goes:
Morning:
3/4 c. Honey nut cheerios-2
1/2 c. skim milk-1
coffee w/ creamer-1
Afternoon: (on the run)
pumpkin muffin-2
banana-2
apple-1
Evening:
1/2 svg. leftover cheesy ham & hashbrown casserole-4
green beans-0
slice lite bread-.5
1/2 c. skim milk-1
med. coke-4
100 cal. nutter butter bar-2
Total: 20.5/26
Flex used/remaining: 0/35
fr/veg: 4/5
milk: 1/2
water: 4/6
exercise: none
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